Life's Designs

February 21, 2017

The weather stinks
but I’m chained out here.
I was cold last night
and woke to cloudy skies.
Gray is all I see and feel.
I remain exposed to the vagaries
of humanity’s environment—
cold, neglect, unwanted.
I sigh.

I retreat to my small confines
of comfort tucked against
the side of humanity’s living,
a space barely larger
than myself. Here, I feel secure,
safe, a space only for me where
no one can reach me. I am protected
in a closet, as it were, filled with
castoff clothes—moldy, smelly.
I sigh.

Food is brought and left
at the end of the chain. I venture
out to eat and risk verbal
onslaughts, attacks on my
existence. In shame, I duck my
head. The food is bland
and sometimes bitter.
I eat it because that’s what’s
thrown my way, what I’m
expected to do, what I need
to do to live. With my head
hanging low, I slink
back into my safe space.
I sigh.

I’m invited into humanity’s space
still chained and walk with them.
Words of endearment and ocassioal
touches embolden me and life
is good until I express myself in
unacceptable ways. My chain is jerked,
reality floods my soul. I’m still
on the chain. At walk’s end, I crawl back
into my safe space,
I sigh.

I live in hope. Hope is life.
So I live. One day I will walk
out of my safe space, come
out of my “closet.” The chain
will fall off as I walk into humanity’s
economy of ideas, enter into
thought filled, heart felt Christian
worship, joy in the freedom
of social interaction, reach out
and grasp a loving hand. Everyone
will see me as a full member
of humanity. Embraced and loved,
I will live into life fully. My safe
space will be with my lover.
In hope, I sigh no more.