Life's Designs

I live a very safe life “in the shadow of God’s wings.” I gather with the rest of the brood regularly, yet wonder if God’s pleased with my worship. I conduct activity that keeps God alive in me—morning prayer, evening prayer—in between these weekly occasions of corporate prayer on Sundays, but then have to work hard to conjure up his presence when not consciously communing with him. Where did I leave him during those hours? I know I’m deep in the water of Christian faith, that I’ve walked with Jesus into those waters, over my head in them. I know what that’s supposed to mean and I try to make that meaning reality, yet knowing and being don’t always merge into one.